My mom needs an advocate.
She is 88 years old and Alzheimers has been stealing her mind for the last 6 years. Her decline was gradual at first, but over the last couple of years her mental deterioration has accelerated. She no longer recognizes people, not even my Dad to whom she has been married for 55 years. She can no longer feed, bathe or dress herself. She has great difficulty walking, due to lack of balance and coordination. And while she can still speak, her words have no connection to what is going on around her or inside of her. She fell recently, and it took 3 days to figure out that there was something seriously wrong because she couldn’t tell anyone. After trips to the doctor’s office, the walk-in clinic and the hospital, she was diagnosed with 2 pelvic fractures. As a result of all this, she is now in a long-term care facility. And she needs an advocate.
All that the caregivers at the facility seem to see is an old lady who is agitated and non-cooperative, in spite of their best efforts to care for her. They don’t understand that her agitation and non-cooperation are her ways of communicating with them.
They put a diaper on her, so that she won’t have to wait for someone to come and help her to the bathroom. She can’t tell them that she still has bladder and bowel control, and that she has no idea she is supposed to use the diaper – it’s a foreign concept to her.
They put soft restraints on her when she is in bed so that she doesn’t fall out and hurt herself. She can’t tell them that the restraints are on in such a way that she can only lay on her back – and she sleeps on her side.
They put the T.V. on so that she will have some stimulation when there are no visitors present. She can’t tell them that she has never watched T.V., has never even had a T.V. in her house and that the constant blare is OVERstimulating her.
So, my mom needs an advocate.
I live 500 miles away; I cannot be her advocate. My dad is overwhelmed by the last few weeks and all that has gone on with her; he cannot be her advocate right now.
But my brother Paul, he is her advocate.
Paul is 5 foot 10 and about 250 pounds – a big guy. He is strong; this summer I saw him stand up in a pool with his 23 year son David on his shoulders, and his 17 year old son Gerry on David’s shoulders. He keeps a road work crew of dozens of men in line with ease. He loves fast snowmobiles and faster cars. He works hard and, when the work is done, plays hard. But with my mom, he is a gentle giant. When he walks into her room, he gives a loud, cheery “Hello Moth-er” in a slightly high-pitched, sing-song voice; her eyes open and her face breaks into a big grin. She doesn’t recognize him as Paul, her 49 year old son, the one who got into more trouble as a kid than the other 4 of us combined. She recognizes him as a friendly face, someone who is there for her, who is on her side, her advocate. And advocate he does. He figures out what the problems are, meets with the staff, and gently but firmly walks them through each incident, helping them to understand where my mom is coming from and what she needs. He gives her a voice, speaking for her at this time when she cannot speak for herself.
My brother Paul has become a picture of Jesus to me. It’s an unlikely analogy and I’m sure Paul would be the first one to find a lot of humor it. But through this situation with my mom I have come to better appreciate and understand what the Bible means when it says that Jesus is my advocate. 1 John 2:1 says “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the righteous…” (ESV) In the original Greek language the word advocate is “parakletos”. The Complete Word Study New Testament says that the word is “used by Greek writers of a legal advisor, pleader, proxy or advocate, one who comes forward on behalf of and as the representative of another.” Similarly, in Romans 8:34, we are asked “Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.” (ESV) The idea of interceding or being an intercessor is the same idea as being an advocate, one who pleads/speaks on behalf of someone else. And in Hebrews 7:24-25, the writer tells us “…because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.” (NIV)
What a wonderful relationship I have with Jesus! Not only did he become a human being, live, suffer and die for me, but he was raised from the dead and now is a permanent, continuous advocate for me in heaven. He knows me, understands me, and is the best advocate I could ever have.
It comforts me to know that my mom has such an able earthly advocate in my brother Paul; it comforts me even more to know that she has an advocate in heaven also - that she has been saved completely, that no-one can condemn her, even in this stage of life that she is in.
A few days after her hospitalization, my mom was sitting beside another older patient who is in much the same boat that my mom is in. The other lady was in some distress, worried that someone was out to “get her”. My mom looked at her and uttered some of the only words that she has said recently that make sense: “You need the Lord Jesus in your life. He’s the only one who can help you. You need Jesus.”
We all do, Mom, we all do.
"Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high.
My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God;
on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend." (Job 16:19-21, NIV)
She is 88 years old and Alzheimers has been stealing her mind for the last 6 years. Her decline was gradual at first, but over the last couple of years her mental deterioration has accelerated. She no longer recognizes people, not even my Dad to whom she has been married for 55 years. She can no longer feed, bathe or dress herself. She has great difficulty walking, due to lack of balance and coordination. And while she can still speak, her words have no connection to what is going on around her or inside of her. She fell recently, and it took 3 days to figure out that there was something seriously wrong because she couldn’t tell anyone. After trips to the doctor’s office, the walk-in clinic and the hospital, she was diagnosed with 2 pelvic fractures. As a result of all this, she is now in a long-term care facility. And she needs an advocate.
All that the caregivers at the facility seem to see is an old lady who is agitated and non-cooperative, in spite of their best efforts to care for her. They don’t understand that her agitation and non-cooperation are her ways of communicating with them.
They put a diaper on her, so that she won’t have to wait for someone to come and help her to the bathroom. She can’t tell them that she still has bladder and bowel control, and that she has no idea she is supposed to use the diaper – it’s a foreign concept to her.
They put soft restraints on her when she is in bed so that she doesn’t fall out and hurt herself. She can’t tell them that the restraints are on in such a way that she can only lay on her back – and she sleeps on her side.
They put the T.V. on so that she will have some stimulation when there are no visitors present. She can’t tell them that she has never watched T.V., has never even had a T.V. in her house and that the constant blare is OVERstimulating her.
So, my mom needs an advocate.
I live 500 miles away; I cannot be her advocate. My dad is overwhelmed by the last few weeks and all that has gone on with her; he cannot be her advocate right now.
But my brother Paul, he is her advocate.
Paul is 5 foot 10 and about 250 pounds – a big guy. He is strong; this summer I saw him stand up in a pool with his 23 year son David on his shoulders, and his 17 year old son Gerry on David’s shoulders. He keeps a road work crew of dozens of men in line with ease. He loves fast snowmobiles and faster cars. He works hard and, when the work is done, plays hard. But with my mom, he is a gentle giant. When he walks into her room, he gives a loud, cheery “Hello Moth-er” in a slightly high-pitched, sing-song voice; her eyes open and her face breaks into a big grin. She doesn’t recognize him as Paul, her 49 year old son, the one who got into more trouble as a kid than the other 4 of us combined. She recognizes him as a friendly face, someone who is there for her, who is on her side, her advocate. And advocate he does. He figures out what the problems are, meets with the staff, and gently but firmly walks them through each incident, helping them to understand where my mom is coming from and what she needs. He gives her a voice, speaking for her at this time when she cannot speak for herself.
My brother Paul has become a picture of Jesus to me. It’s an unlikely analogy and I’m sure Paul would be the first one to find a lot of humor it. But through this situation with my mom I have come to better appreciate and understand what the Bible means when it says that Jesus is my advocate. 1 John 2:1 says “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the righteous…” (ESV) In the original Greek language the word advocate is “parakletos”. The Complete Word Study New Testament says that the word is “used by Greek writers of a legal advisor, pleader, proxy or advocate, one who comes forward on behalf of and as the representative of another.” Similarly, in Romans 8:34, we are asked “Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.” (ESV) The idea of interceding or being an intercessor is the same idea as being an advocate, one who pleads/speaks on behalf of someone else. And in Hebrews 7:24-25, the writer tells us “…because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.” (NIV)
What a wonderful relationship I have with Jesus! Not only did he become a human being, live, suffer and die for me, but he was raised from the dead and now is a permanent, continuous advocate for me in heaven. He knows me, understands me, and is the best advocate I could ever have.
It comforts me to know that my mom has such an able earthly advocate in my brother Paul; it comforts me even more to know that she has an advocate in heaven also - that she has been saved completely, that no-one can condemn her, even in this stage of life that she is in.
A few days after her hospitalization, my mom was sitting beside another older patient who is in much the same boat that my mom is in. The other lady was in some distress, worried that someone was out to “get her”. My mom looked at her and uttered some of the only words that she has said recently that make sense: “You need the Lord Jesus in your life. He’s the only one who can help you. You need Jesus.”
We all do, Mom, we all do.
"Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high.
My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God;
on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend." (Job 16:19-21, NIV)
Wow, Lydia. It took my by surprise when you brought in 1 John 2:1. I love especially the idea the your Mom can't say what she needs. So many times, we don't even know what we need most. Like Paul for your mom, Jesus has us figured out and gets us what we need... I love the word picture!
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